Struggling with Forgiveness?

Forgiveness has been a struggle for me personally. The most significant and more recent one was due to the deep hurt and pain caused by another person. I am sure that I am not the only one who has had some difficulty with forgiveness.

It does not matter whether the other person intentionally caused the hurt or pain. It is still there until it is not. It does not go away immediately as much as you may want it to do so.

In Shakespeare’s production, “The Merchant of Venice”, the character of Shylock asked this question, "If you prick us, do we not bleed?" in Act 3 and Scene 1.

It is the same principle with us.  If someone cut your finger with a knife, does it not bleed and hurt for a little bit?

In God’s word, He talks about different members being different parts of the body of Christ. He tells us that “…if one member of the body of Christ suffers…we all suffer.” (1 Corinthians 12:26)

If someone hurts us, do we not hurt?

Well then, if someone physically shot you in the heart, you would also hurt for awhile. However, the pain would be much more severe and take much more time to heal from the offense.

The perceived wrongdoing also depends on each person…the offender and the defender in this case. Normally, it is only those people closest to us or nearest and dearest to our hearts that can cause deep pain.

Additionally, know that when painful memories come up as they often do, it may take even more time to heal the wound. Say again, someone cut your finger with a knife. If they keep cutting the same place on your finger each time, it will not heal for some time.

The same is true with pain or hurt inflicted by another person. If you are reminded of the offense, then you will not be able to get over it as fast. As long as the painful memories are there, so will be the pain from the infliction.

With that said, healing is a process that takes time. God heals the hurt and the pain in His way and in His timing.

God is the one who forgives us. (Psalm 103:3) He helps us to forgive others just as He does with us.

"...as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." (Psalm 103:12)

It cannot be done in our own way or in our timing. It is only with Him through His unconditional love, grace, mercy, strength, and power that we are healed from any lasting hurt and pain. We also have to allow Him to work in and through us to help us to forgive and forget the painful offenses against us.

"For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." (Hebrews 8:12)

When the hurt and pain has gone down deep into your heart, it takes much more time. As I have heard before, ‘time heals all wounds’. That is a true statement. However, a more truthful statement would be that God heals all wounds in His timing. (Job 5:18)

Therefore, give God the time that it takes to help you forgive the person. Also, allow Him the time to heal you from the inside out. With Him, all things are possible! (Matt 19:26) He will help you forgive and forget! He will also help you receive your healing! (1 Peter 2:24) Be patient with yourself and with Him! It is well worth the time!


Copyright 2010 by Dawn Freeman. All rights reserved.